One day...
...I'll get this newsletter out on time
Hey!
So it’s a bit crazy how many new people there are here. Hello! Thank you for joining me and my explorations of love and sex in the South Asian diaspora.
Here’s a roundup of everything I consumed (no pun intended) last month — albeit a week late.
One Day. Netflix. Ahh. Over the last few days I’ve been reliving the heartstring-tugging story of One Day. I’m five episodes away from being done and I’m conflicted: should I binge it or drag it out?
Why am I so obsessed with this show, you ask? Well, I’ve never quite got over the disappointment of the film version — not least because of Anne Hathaway’s awful Yorkshire accent (Google it) — so the announcement of a new series gave me hope for a better adaption of the David Nicholl’s book.
But really, primarily, it’s nostalgia. It takes me back to a point in time where I’m lying on slightly damp grass outside college (high school for the non Brits), draped over one friend or another, reading the hardback, feeling all of the feels. I even took a day off sick so I could finish it (sorry, parents!).
Sidebar: I did wonder then whether anyone I knew at the time was my ‘One Day’. I can confirm, they were not!
And then I saw they’d cast Ambika Mod as Emma, the protagonist.
They cast Emma as a British Indian woman. Aside from Ambika playing the character perfectly, it makes so much sense for other reasons too. It makes sense for the time period it is set in, her education, bookishness, career trajectory, upbringing and class mobilisation. Also, the book never explicitly states that she is white. There’s also something about seeing myself in one of my favourite characters that creates…joy? Maybe it’s because when I originally read it the picture I painted in my mind’s eye was some version of me. Maybe it’s because, in Ambika’s looks and nerdiness, I see my best friend from college. Or maybe it’s because it’s so so rare to see brown women centred in Western love stories.
It’s still rare to see brown women going through teenage angst and awkwardness; to see them desired and going through heartbreak; to see them thriving and failing; and to seem them making bad decisions and having awkward sex. And it feels like brown women are starting to have their moment in the popular culture sun with TV moments like Never Have I Ever, Bridgerton and Polite Society, for example. Although I’d say One Day is different as race isn’t a main factor in Emma’s arc. Yes, she’s British Indian born of Hindu-Catholic parents but her grappling with being of Indian heritage isn’t a focus.
Why? Why do I care so much about seeing brown people loving and being loved on TV? I could go on but the Tl;dr is this: We like to pretend mainstream media is just all make-believe nonsense but the truth is the impact runs deep. Popular culture influences mainstream opinion — from our politics to who we’re attracted to. Think about yourself for a second. Have your dating and sexual preferences changed over time? How do your preferences track against that demographic’s ‘popularity’ in the mainstream?
Diverse portrayal of brown people also combats stereotypes and the idea that we’re a monolithic group. My dear friend Nafisa Bakkar writes in the book It’s not about the burqa that “representation of Muslim women flip-flops between fitting a stereotype or breaking one, not the middle ground where most of us are,” and I think this can be applied to most South Asian diaspora representation.
For the people being represented, the impact varies. Maybe the impact is how we’re perceived, general societal sentiment towards us, opportunities we’re given or the understanding we’re afforded. Or maybe it’s just that it allows us moments of joy, of escapism, of hope and maybe even of aspiration.
Or maybe it’s not that deep and I should just enjoy the binge-able show with a large box of tissues by my side. But then I wouldn’t have any content this week!
What I’ve been reading, watching, listening…
The Tamil connect. Maitreyi Ramakrishnan of Never Have I Ever and singer-songwriter Priya Ragu (one of my faves!) reflect on the influence their backgrounds have on their respective disciplines.
Are AI girlfriends going to ruin a generation of men? This 30 minute Youtube video is quite well balanced in its arguments, I think.
What is a karmic partner? My TikTok algorithm has, obvi, gathered that I’m interested in the world of sexual wellness so keep getting fed content with this hashtag that I didn’t understand until Beth Ashley sorted me out with the answer.
Sex in the office? Should we be encouraging a healthier approach to work romantic relationships?
Thanks for reading! Next week, I’ve got a fun interview lined up!