A sweet Valentine's
My favourite recent reads on love
Happy Valentine’s weekend, cuties.
I talk about love (and sex) every single week but I still love the outpouring that happens on this day/weekend. Please excuse me if I focus more on love this issue.
Despite the difficult feelings this day might evoke (for a million possible reasons), what I love about the generation we live in is how we’ve really opened up the day to include our lovers, friends and family. I see so many of us placing more and more importance on our platonic relationships. We’ll find any excuse to celebrate our people, like Valentine’s/Palentine’s/Galentine’s Day.
My parents have always made a big deal of Valentine’s Day. I remember waking up as a child to the house being decorated, love letters and heart cupcakes with plastic toy rings on top for breakfast. I’ve watched them surprise each other with cute gifts over the years — and seen them deeply hurt when the day was once forgotten. As us kids have aged, they have reclaimed the day as theirs but, without fail, there’ll always be a Happy Valentine’s message on my phone when I wake up.
This year, they’re on holiday and I’ve been subjected to photos in the family chat of romantic meals, towel swans (you know the ones) and starlit walks on the beach. I tell them I hate it but, secretly, I love it. Obviously, I’ve inherited their love for love and for shouting about it loud.
My Valentine’s day this year? I pretty much spent the entire morning on the phone catching up with people I adore. Hours of talking about love and pleasure and what it all really means (a subject for another newsletter);
ramblings on creative projects and figuring out plans to hold each other accountable, which just sound like excuses for more catch ups;
hopeful planning for sun drenched, sea soaked holidays;
chats about books that are changing us, growing us, pissing us the hell off…
Throughout the day, I hear about solo dates, a first date, couple plans, gym trips and CBA to leave my sofa moments. A friend called me to tell me he loves me. Another sent me a, “Happy Valentine’s Day 🤢” text (I guess it’s the thought that counts!?). I scrolled IG and found my faves sharing their first date story (that I’d been there for!). The best bit? A long term bestie popped over for a weekend of friend dates. He even brought me lilies and the below, obviously incorrect, card.
Someone doesn’t have to be ripping your clothes off this weekend for you to enjoy a Valentine’s filled with love. Let your platonic relationships fill your heart to the brim, whether you’re in a romantic coupling or not. Revel in their magic. And if you didn’t get around to it this weekend, that’s fine. We don’t need a day, with a weird baby angel thing with a bow and arrow as its ambassador to tell us to show our people we love them. And for those of you who are ripping clothes off, I love that for you.
Here’s some incredible writing and creativity for you from across the internet.
1.
Valentine’s and capitalism. The politics of sexuality and romance are intertwined with that of monetary exchange and social hierarchy. An excellent piece by .
2.
Your village needs to help you find love. This was such a thought provoking read, intertwining the Islamic concept of a wali (chaperone), that argues that love is too big, too important, to leave solely in the hands of two affected people. By
3.
Ten years of widowhood. The inimitable writes stunningly about losing her husband to suicide.
“In the case of suicide […] grief can turn to napalm and burns up relationships because everyone is looking for someone to blame and cannot accept that sometimes terrible things happen and the reason is not black and white. But we didn’t do that. We held him at our centre, we were fuelled by his love”.
4.
“I never just fell for the dudes, I fell for the cities, the stories and the way love can take the most mundane moments and sprinkle in just enough magic and it’ll feel rather amazing.” I love ’s writing. She’s another big love lover. Her words often help me articulate my brain mess with much beauty.
5.
Drawing girls on Hinge I’ll never meet. Artist James Song has been such a driving force behind me creating more over the last few months. This new series of his romanticises the world of dating apps and I ADORE it.
6.
If you’ve been through heartbreak, this short poem is for you. What she talks about is what I call the ripple effects of love.
Finally
(Mother, stop reading here)
Just in case your knees need some help for…activities.
Such a fun, well-written posting!
(And, as someone with arthritic knees, I appreciated the video. :) )
Aww that evoked such precious memories 🥰