Unwrapping Spice
Gifts for the red hot season
Hello!
Firstly, a massive thank you to everyone who read and shared my last piece about figuring out the whole “do I/don’t I won’t kids” thing. It’s the second most read piece on Brown Bodies but, more importantly, the replies I’ve had — from parents, parents to be, those still figuring it out, those who definitely want, those who can’t have, those who are choosing to be child free… — have been so life affirming and have made me feel seen and less alone. So, again, thank you. Truly.
If you’re anything like me — and not as organised as those who had their list ready to go for the January/Spring/Black Friday sales — then you may be thinking about what to get your loved ones (or yourself because you deserve it) for this gifting season. Well, I’m here to add some spice to your shopping list. Sorta. Some of it is…spice adjacent.
Most things on this list are by POC creators and entrepreneurs. Prices are listed in GBP but most products ship globally. Any issues give me a shout and I may be able to help! OK let’s go!
Toys, etc
Hanx’s Cindy, £59.99. I’ve written about Cindy before. She’s my fave. The clitoral suction stimulator was created alongside Hanx’ community (talk about listening to your customer) and is perfect for solo or partner play. You can’t go wrong.
SheSpot x Killing Kittens*, £175. The gift that keeps on giving. This 12 days advent calendar has luxury sexual wellness products behind each door — with a combined value £350 — including lube, toys and Agent Provocateur goodies.
Plus, every purchase helps support the Fly Anyway Foundation, which supports domestic abuse survivors to build sustainable businesses.
The Vesper necklace by Crave, from £50. I love this vibrator that moonlights as a necklace. It’s gorgeous. I often wear mine as a bit of symbolism: a reminder that there’s no shame talking about this stuff and owning our sexuality.
Eggs by Tenga. A masturbation toy for those with penises. My good friend Alix Fox told me about these years ago! Since then I’ve been passing the message on to everyone — the verdict is always 🥵. My only issue is they’re one time use. Tenga does have other reusable products so if you enjoy them, go buy something reusable afterwards.
Skincare, etc.
Massage candles by Maude, £24, Soy wax with jojoba and soybean oils that you can pour onto your skin once it’s melted. For all my allergic guys and gals, Maude has an unscented option too (its unscented bubble bath is also excellent).
Aako. An emerging natural skincare brand developed in London by partners Agui-Albert Mansilla and Asoka Stahlhofen who noticed a lack of natural skincare products tailored to people of colour. Its Luxe Hydration Oil is sexy.
Books
All the links are to Bookshop.org that supports independent bookshops (and I get a tiny affiliate fee if you purchase by clicking through)
Sex Ed by Ruby Rare
Erotic stories for Punjabi women by Balli Kaur Jaswal. NB: This is fiction.
The right to sex by Amia Srinivasan. Probably one of my fave reads. It looks at the politics, the social construction and the ethics of sex. It’s complex and not at all black and white. The chapter on porn was eye opening (and something I should probably write about at some point!).
Come as you are* by Dr Emily Nagoski. Read it. Buy it for everyone. Trust me. Also, she has a new one coming out so you might as well pre order that while you’re there.
Other books can be found in my Bookshop.org Brown Bodies list.
Other
Audio erotica. Get your partner (or yourself!) a subscription to some audio erotica. There are companies like Ferly and Dipsea that are good introductions to this space.
French Bloom. From £29. If you want to get in the mood with a nice drink but want something non alcoholic drink, I highly recommend French Bloom. It makes alcohol free, organic, sparkling wines that are halal, vegan and sulfite free.
Brown Bodies subscription. In 2024, we’re levelling up! There will be a lot more for paid subscribers, including discounts to favourite brands, access to events and live Q&As. I’m very very excited about what is in the pipeline. Also, buying a paid subscription supports my writing — it gives me the ability to continue to dedicate time to Brown Bodies and to keep as much of it as possible open and free to the public.
*Not POC created/owned